Could this be the last?

Today my family put up our holiday decorations like we do every year, but this year, we are putting them up earlier. I wonder what it will be like next year, when I am away at college, and my parents are here, just the two of them. I am so excited to go to college and be on my own, but I can't help but think of my parents. My dad is always working so my mom will be left at home to eat dinner alone, and pretty much live her life alone. I feel bad for leaving, because I provide stability and I am a peacemaker sometimes- but I know I shouldn't feel bad, and my parents will figure it out. This year, I am having so much fun and I love it, but I find myself constantly relizing that it is my last time doing things with my family. It is my last time putting up decorations for the holidays, it is my last time to do so much, and I see no point to painting my room again, or buying some things because I will be gone, so it won't matter. In that sense, it makes this year the hardest. In one year, nothing will be the same as it is now. I will live in a different state, know totally different people, have different plans, know different things- everything will have changed. In some ways, it will be so exciting because I can change my life, but it is a daunting task to not know what is in the future, by any means. I won't go to karate every week, and won't have my car, my house, my friends. I am almost starting over. I really want to value the last few months that I have. About 7 months from now is when it will all change. I guess I have to take a deep breath and jump off, just trusting myself I will land safely. Peace for now.